Geez, I’m standing here like an idiot, talking to myself. Might as well get on this line like an idiot, talking to myself.
-Firesign Theater, I Think We’re All Bozos on This Bus
"Tennessee man arrested in Capitol riot"; it isn’t that often my state makes the news. I cringe whenever I see "Tennessee" in the headline. It's usually a story of new legislation proposed giving embryos the right to bring guns to a bar.
"Tennessee man" is Eric Munchel, and his story is equally batshit crazy. Otherwise known as "Zip Tie Guy", Eric's thirty years old, he’s from Nashville, he’s white. He’s one of the people you saw at the Capitol, on January 6th of this year.
The nickname comes from a still photo taken of Munchel holding a handful of zip ties and looking like some new Isis recruit. Eric came loaded for bear that day, as we say in the South; dressed in fatigues and combat boots, he was there with the aforementioned flex cuffs, a stun gun, a cell phone taped to his chest, and a Ms. Eisenhart.
Lisa. His mom.
You take your momma to wrestlin’ and truck pulls. Why not to your first coup d’etat? I was wondering how Cousin Lisa's been getting along. I’m kidding of course, but they hail from my neck of the woods, and their actions that day have done little, I fear, to dispel the notion all Southerners are Hee-Haw-watchin’ first cousins.
Eric says neither he or his mother brought the flex cuffs with them. The zip ties were left by law enforcement officers, forgotten in the melee. We picked them up, Ms. Eisenhart adds, to prevent them from falling into the hands of bad actors.
Well. Okey-dokey then. But given the circumstances, picking up stray restraint devices seems akin to handling the smoking gun next to the guy in a field with a hole in his gut. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who cocked their head like a Beagle pup and wondered why peaceful protest required a stun gun.
I’m also sure the hullabaloo seems most unfair from where Mr. Munchel and Ms. Eisenhart sit. Which as of this writing is the Nashville jail, and this isn’t Eric’s first brush with the law. In 2015, he was charged with misdemeanor assault, marijuana possession in 2014.
I don’t dredge up the past to be unkind, but to make this point: anyone who’s been in jail has seen this simple but effective tactic. One selfish person breaks the rules and it’s lockdown for everyone—everyone pays.
Everyone pays, every bus has its bozo and it’s always that bozo who cries, not fair, as Eisenhart and Munchel are crying now. They weren’t the worst but make no mistake—Eric and Lisa were bad actors. This is what happens when you play with the big boys. The Proud Boys. The Boogaloo Boys.
Zip Tie Guy—Cousin Eric—is currently sitting in jail, charged with disorderly conduct and unlawful and/or violent entry onto restricted property. Sandra Roland, Eric’s lawyer, says Munchel only decided to come to the Capitol a few days before January 6th. That he wasn’t there as part of an organized group or militia.
Someone get me a Tylenol please.
You were there that day, Cousin; the flex cuffs, you might’ve found, but you did, after all, bring a Taser along. You wanted to play with the big boys, you thought, now the shit’s hit the fire and it’s Boogaloo who?
A journalist who interviewed Munchel quotes him as saying, we wanted to show that we’re willing to rise up, band together and fight.
Standing here like an idiot. Might as well get on this line like an idiot.
One bozo yanks on the stop cord too many times, and now we’re all on lockdown.
Now we’re all bozos on this bus.