"'Ate X
'Ate Y
'Ate Z (not racis jus dun like em)
Lav me missus
Lav sosig rolls
Lav Ngubu (cam on moi san score sam fackin goals)
Simple as"
- The meme itself, where any of the X, Y, Z, or anything else above can be replaced with anything.

This is usually accompanied by a line drawing of an obese man with a misshapen head in a football shirt marked "Norf FC" and the Turning Point UK logo. I believe it's a derivation of a derivation of Wojak.

Basically, Norf FC is a stereotype of the English football fan. Fat, bald, ugly, and heavily accented of voice and not in the charming regional type of accent that current year media fetishises to look like it's In Touch With Ordinary People. Simple of tastes and easily stereotyped as brutish, racist, Brexit voting, and generally deplorable. The sort of person who our political classes hate and fear and would rather they stay in their lane. Basically, a caricature of the white van man from Essex or Birmingham.

However, if you dig a bit further, you find that the meme is in fact more complicated than that, much like Norf FC and his demographic himself. But he is indeed a man of simple tastes. So long as he gets twenty pints of a Friday night and a wife at home to fuck, and his season ticket to his team of choice, and isn't forced to pay through the noses in tax for things that he sees as undermining his position, like uncontrolled mass immigration or social demoralisation or having his van punishment taxed off the roads, or being branded a hideous crazy Nazi for objecting to any of the above, he will be just happy. He has little time for Radio 4 comedy with its clapter or modern art which he (correctly) sees as proof that the Emperor is naked. It's therefore tempting to write him off as stupid or irrelevant or similar. And that is completely wrong. In short, Norf FC is basically the person who gave Boris Johnson an 80 seat majority in 2019. Used to be rock solid Labour because he's of working class stock, but then the Labour Party lost him in the Blair era with their pandering to middle class luxury beliefs (to which the Labour Party continues to pander to this day), and so he went Tory because he actually had something to lose. And is probably going to end up not voting at all in 2024 because there's barely a red cunt hair between Labour and Tories on most things right now and the Tories have turned out to be all fart and no poo, but that's by the by.

See, the reason people underestimate Norf FC, though, is that Norf FC is uneducated, not stupid. There is a difference. Norf FC might not have a degree. He probably left school at 16, in fact. But despite that he's smart enough to work in trades or vocations and run a business doing the same and make a fist of it. He also works bloody hard. After all, he does not chase after the work, he does not eat, right? He might oppose uncontrolled mass migration, but then his favourite footballer is in the lore the obviously African sounding Ngubu (who is a cognate of the real life African origin footballers such as Didier Drogba and Samuel Eto'o). He has no cognitive dissonance over this because to him, importing skilled workers is fine and dandy, it's importing a mass of exploitable cheap labour to drive down wages that offends his old school Labour Party sensibilities. He doesn't approve of a lot of the current year progressive shibboleths because to him, splitting hairs over 71 genders is a waste of time and energy. He doesn't like people on benefits or the pandering to same. He probably, if he ever was out of work, would be one of those people who is too proud to claim benefits, and he sees the cadre of advisors and support groups as basically middle class liberals on the make politically reducing them to morality pets. He really, really, doesn't like child molesters to the point at which part of the lore surrounding Norf FC in the memescape is reference to "hard drive checks" and a Norf FC in a doctor's white coat with a clipboard saying "diagnosis: NONCE" is a thing that exists.

And his existence really seems to chap the arse of the middle class soft-left and progressive graduate corpus. It seems to personally offend them that a man who left school at 16 can own his own house in the leafy suburbs while they are still renting in Zone 3 and always underpaid. In retrospect, that was kind of me in my legal aid days as well. Elite overproduction is a hell of a drug.

There are, of course, Norf FC variants. Souf FC, who is the same but mirrored and with a blue shirt. Norf FC and Souf FC hate each other because of course they do. There's also (something) FC variants for almost every real or fictional people, faction, or group, which follow the same template.

(IRON NODER 2023 #8)

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