These quotes purport to be from employee evaluation forms, and given some of the people I've worked with, it wouldn't surprise me a bit...
- Since my last report, this employee has
reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
- His men would follow him anywhere, but
only out of morbid curiosity.
- I would not allow this employee to breed.
- This associate is really not so much of a
has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.
- Works well when under constant supervision
and cornered like a rat in a trap.
- When she opens her mouth, it seems that
it is only to change whichever foot was
previously in there.
- He would be out of his depth in a parking
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- He sets low personal standards and then
consistently fails to achieve them.
- This employee is depriving a village
somewhere of an idiot.
- This employee should go far and the
sooner he starts the better.
- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard
- A room temperature IQ.
- Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic
thingy to hold it all together.
- A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse
than an ordinary ignoramus.
- A photographic memory but with the
lens cover glued on.
- A prime candidate for natural dissection.
- Bright as Alaska in December.
- One-celled organisms outscore him in
- Donated his body to science before he
was done using it.
- Fell out of the family tree.
- Gates are down, the lights are flashing,
but the train isn't coming.
- Has two brains; one is lost and the other
is out looking for it.
- He's so dense, light bends around him.
- If brains were taxed, she'd get a rebate.
- If he were any more stupid, he'd have to
be watered once a week.
- If you give him a penny for his thought,
you'd get change.
- If you stand close enough to him, you
can hear the ocean.
- It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000
- One neuron short of a synapse.
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge,
he only gargled.
- Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
- The wheel is turning, but there's no hamster.