On the bottom....the little black button next to 'Start' and 'Timer' that says 'Stop Time'. I stare at it for hours wondering what might happen if i push it. Do any other microwaves have this awesome power? Have they ever used it? Has anyone else even noticed? Everyday I agonize contemplating the possible outcomes of stopping time with my microwave...damn you Whirlpool!

Yeah I pressed that button once.

The next thing I knew, I was naked in the middle of Route 22 holding a pitcher of sangria and a sign that said Will Limbo For Food. What the hell was that?

Then I was sucked into a vortex and time stopped. Around me was a nebulous gray haze, undifferentiated--the very essence of complete entropy. Heat death. My voice was empty, I couldn't scream and talk, and I was neither cold nor warm.

I floated there, motionless, wondering how a hundred dollar piece of consumer electronics could have done this, and how I was going to get back.

Finally, sleep came over me, and when I woke up, my head was stuck inside my grey pillowcase.

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