Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Katie, bar the door, because there's no love lost between these two!

That's right, folks, we've secured exclusive rights to the FIGHT OF THE CENTURY!

The Challenger

In the red corner we have Mattress Giant, weighing in at 425 lbs. and standing an impressive 7'5" tall. Ladies, hold onto your hats, because you know what they say about tall men! Rumor has it that this hulking behemoth is not only built like a side of beef, but he's also nimble as a squirrel all hopped up on goofballs! His drunken kung-fu style should prove a formidable match for the somewhat smaller, but more experienced Mr. Clean, whose undefeated record gives him the clear psychological advantage. Matt's rocket-like ascent through the ranks, though, should give the champ pause and make him train doubly-hard before this, a fight against a man that could be his doppelganger, a match that will prove to be the donnybrook to end all donnybrooks.

The Champion

And in the blue corner we have the undispa-yu-ted champeen of the world, Mister Clean! At weigh-in he came in at a beefy 337 lbs. and towered over the referees at 6'11" of lemony-fresh man-flesh. Clean got his start fighting while in the US Navy, aboard the USS Procter and Gamble; incedentally, that's also where he got his enormous hoop earring and his fondness for anilingus. Although Mister Clean is considerably smaller than his gargantuan opponent, make no mistake, the sheer size of his upper-body is testament to his bone-crushing brutality. What's more, years of cleaning kitchens across America has given Clean plenty of time to perfect the moves he'll need to mop the floor with his opponents.

The Odds

Mr. Clean is only a 2:1 favorite in this match; lots of people are giving the kid the respect he deserves. Both men have a friendly demeanor, and Mattress Giant is renowned for making all the ladies swoon, but when it comes to fighting, they're not afraid to flood the ring with a tidal wave of shiny-headed mascot blood. It's sure to be a brutal, ten-round pier 6 brawl that will make its mark in the annals of history as the greatest fight between vaguely homoerotic bodybuilders of all time!

Remember, that's Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

If you miss this fight YOU'LL NEVER GET LAID AGAIN!

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