When people enter into the holy union of marriage
, they often give up the privacy
and personal space of their own bed. They're so in love
they want to slumber
next to each other for all eternity. Through my careful observation, I've seen that these early feelings of cuddliness wear off quite rapidly. That King size bed quickly becomes a war zone driven by the need for sleep. Legs kicking, arms flying and blanket pulling. It is a nightmare
of uncomfortable proportions.
I have devised a plan that will irradicate the world of this unecessary evil called the marriage bed. Actually a friend of mine and I thought this up one day when we were in the Blue Heron a furniture store. We spied a beautiful oak bunk bed set, and decided that if we should ever get married we'd have bunk beds. That's the plan; bunk beds for married people. None of this impersonal Ozzie and Harrietish separate twin beds. This goes way beyond your ordinary summer camp bunk beds. The marriage bunk bed would be two double beds stacked together. For those nights of wild monkey love with your significant other there would be plenty of room, or if you just get the urge to cuddle and be close you could do that too. If the need to be alone should arise you each could retire to your separate beds and sleep in peace. No fighting for the blankets. You could sleep in your perfect idea of comfort whenever you like. No comprising on a firm mattress when you really want the squishy one. No sleeping under the sheets when you just can't stand how they rub against your skin.
Why continue to pretend like you enjoy sleeping on top of each other even though you aren't having sex?
Sleep peacefully and comfortably. When you feel a little horny just knock on your partner's bed. Then you can climb up the little ladder and make a little love.