and the first puffs of breath in the morning. Wiping dew off the car windows, cold nose poking from snug covers into a delightful crisp room.

When did the leaves fall? I did not notice them turning but already my sidewalk is crunchy.

Autumn smells like bright skies and memories. The smell of teaching myself how to smoke, a stick of bright warmth to hold. Wandering through deserted industrial neighborhoods, staying up late nights to talk about everything and again. There is even a memory of Kid A in my discman and walking, cold hand tight in a pocket, or another hand.

(These memories are recent but already they are as comfortable as a bus ride or a wood smoke smell down the street back home.)

Today feels like running till we drop laughing, like contact football, like ridiculous climbing fire escapes, tousled and out of breath. Today I would like to fly, or live forever. (Today even feels like powerful survival).

P.S. One day I would love to have a dark serious daughter named Autumn. It is a leftover teenage desire that I don't want to grow out of yet. Don't want to forget.

p.p.s. glad i could share my delight without even mentioning colors. yes.

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