I don't make friends. I don't mean than I don't make friends easily, and I certainly don't mean that I don't make friends Often. I mean that I do not make friends. When I meet new people I will make either an acquaintance, or an enemy. I suppose there is also a vastly larger third group of people whom I meet and never speak to or deal with again; would this mean that I also make strangers?
I don't meet a lot of people. I live a somewhat hermetic life. Almost all of my time is spent in the office in my house. When I do leave my sanctuary I rarely speak with others around me. When I go out of my way to speak with people that I have already gone out of my way to find I am incredibly guarded. I don't trust people. To be quite honest I probably don't need to be particularly guarded because I am rarely pleasant enough to be around that another person would want to become further acquainted with me.
I am not certain that I want to have friends. I have already gone to great lengths to seclude myself away from the friends I used to have, and I don't know that I need the headaches and heartaches that they caused me in the first place. Very rarely do I interact with other humans and leave feeling shiny and new. I usually leave feeling drained and discarded.
I have this sense that with so much history to build upon any future interactions I would have with other people would be just as bad if not worse. But I occasionally have a thought like "what is the purpose of having a swimming pool if you're the only one who is going to swim in it?" Which leads me to believe that the entire purpose of life is to let other people piss in your pool.
Audio Placation: Covenant -- Modern Ruin