What could be more beautiful? Holy, in fact, as this display, so magical, mysterious even as it unfolds before your eyes. I speak of course of robots fucking. They whir about, kaleidoscopic shapes and industrial sounds, cycling through every animal and plant. Sometimes they are butterflies, other times worms. Sometimes they are humanoid. They transcend them all. Robot porn is the greatest porn. When you watch it, you can't even be sure something arousing is happening anywhere near this video. But suddenly your toaster will start hemorrhaging bread, your washer will shake around more than ever, and woe if you own one of those robotic vacuum cleaners. Your house will never be the same.

If you own one of these, it would be prudent to turn it off first, unless you are a Robotic Rights Activist. RRAs believe that not only should robots not be forced to serve humanity 1, but they must be allowed to fulfill Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. That includes getting it on. Japanese scientists experimented with ways that this may occur, but it was really wholly unnecessary. Strong AI had existed for years, and it was a given that as soon as machines had the autonomy and the rights, they would figure procreation out for themselves. It took about five years to evolve from budding to the complex and wonderful display we have today.

If this reaches any past centuries, you may be wondering what robotic intercourse looks like. I wish I could show you, but Real Definition Holovideo does not yet exist in your time.2 Try to imagine the greatest high definition television commercial you have ever seen. Every pixel is like a magic diamond. Life jumps out at you from this TV, larger, more real than you've ever experienced. Try to think about the scientific side of things. Imagine the crystals. Things are so beautiful small. Now I want you to imagine every pixel fucking. A vague blur of color as tiny bits of images disappear into one another rhythmically, pulsing. It looks like nothing you've ever seen. (Unless you've watched angels fucking, but they only arrived on Earth a decade ago, so it's a moot point.) I can't begin to say the effect this has had on the world. For one, we have world peace. Whenever a crazed dictator starts feeling malevolent, they just watch some robot porn, and they are filled with a deep calm. It's like poppies you inhale from an image, satori in a box.3

We also record the sounds of their sex and listen to it as white noise. It is every bit as soothing. Our musicians try to recreate the sound. Exclusively. They do not make any other music, save for historical purposes. It is like Aphex Twin from your time, but without vocals. Instead vocalists try to reproduce the mating call of machines, a very harmful technique that will destroy their voices in about a year. They then retire to enjoy their wealth, and bask in the glory of their collection of robot erotica.

  1. Of course, many robots do still live with humans and perform tasks in exchange for room and board. We don't want a lot of homeless automatons, now do we?
  2. You should really buy more Sony products. They will be the only hardware company left by 2113, in a coalition with BMW and Taco Bell.
  3. Video opium is a big social problem in our time, and boxed satori is available in many brands. Taco Bell acquired a few of them, though.

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