A game for the sick-minded but not the weak of heart. It's based on the concept of "If you send the image, you don't receive it." I discovered this simple idea in high school, back in those days when oral sex was gross. A friend and I had just learned that one of our mutual friends was having oral sex with his girlfriend, so I said to her, "Imagine him actually going down on her!" While she had to deal with the psychological ramifications of imagining our unattractive male friend eating is equally unattractive girlfriend out, I was left unscathed.

That is, until she got me back by saying, "Do you think it tickles?" and I was the one closing my eyes and writhing in agony.

That's basically the game. You and a friend take turns trying to gross each other out by saying things that they have no choice but to imagine and will end up squealing "ewwwwww!" Friends, family, coworkers, barnyard animals...it's all fair game for ridicule! The game ends when you're too sore with laughter to go on or someone runs out of ideas. This is really fun to do drunk, but can occupy you any time you're bored. For extra fun, try doing this in a public place and enjoy the stares.

What do you think Bill Clinton looks like in his tighty-whities?

Late one night (or early one morning, depending on your perspective) at Denny's we played a game like this. We were trying to come up with an image that would work as the Universal Turn-Off.

Ernest Borgnine
on all fours
wearing fishnet stockings,
smoking a cigar,
and covered in baby oil.

It's been five years, and I've still got the emotional scars from that image. I should have made everyone at that table throw some money in the therapy jar.

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