Life would be so much more exciting, dramatic, poignant, sad, sexy, and horrific if it came with a sound track.

I don't mean a generic sound track. This puppy would be tailor made...a homunculus maestro privy to all your thoughts and feelings, conducting a score aimed at heightening every one of them. Some brain-pulverising thrash starts up when you're weaving through startled pedestrians on the bike-path. You normally wouldn't *try* to hit them, but hey..it's the music! Strings kick in and the tears stream down your face when you find a floater in your fishtank. A ceremonial burial follows, replacing the usual quick flush 'n' "seeya!". It doesn't end there. Self gratification was never this cool when all you could hear was your left hand typing! I won't even begin to describe the impact of a sound track when a second party is actually involved in proceedings (just as long as it's not that shite 'you can leave your hat on' song...that's about as sexy as nasal spray). Piles of autumn leaves, fallen blossoms decaying on a path; these things could be razor-blade-buyingly dangerous accompanied by the right score.

Maybe it's not such a good idea. Perhaps it's a sad reflection of my (and many other people's) emotional flatness that I believe a sound track would make a difference. Then again, anything can get bland if you have enough of it.

now this would be one of the ultimate, non-conventional superpowers i'd want. i mean, think about it.. it's kind of like being able to tell the future or otherwise gauge the ambient emotional climate of the immediate area.

man, i'd totally be all over that.

some examples of when having an accompanying musical score to your life would come in terribly handy would include:

• you're walking down the street, right? it's a pleasant day, not unlike any other day and then suddenly, out of nowhere, you hear the tell-tale *dun dun DUNNNN* heralding the arrival of the evil ex, turning the corner or stepping out of a car or something. if you caught the first few bars of the jarring chords early enough, you'd be able to duck into a store before anything were to happen. then the "ah, i'm safe now" music would play and you'd know for sure that the evil has passed. ..for now.
  
• being the perfect friend that you are, you're talking to yer buddy and something seems amiss. but he won't tell you what. and then a couple seconds later you hear it: the sad, soulful soundtrack of the heartbroken (probably produced by some pop culture icon du jour) slowly fading in to the forefront. "oh, c'mon", you tell him, "did you just have your heart stomped on or did yer dog die?" and startlingly moved by your concern and superheroic ability to read his emotions so well, he spills his guts. and instead of just hoping that you helped him out some, you can pause every now and then and listen for the "my life has meaning after all" music, the cinematic indicator that their (immediate) worries are no more, to be absolutely sure.
• it's late at night and you just missed the last bus to go home. not like it's the first time you walked home after midnight, so it's no big deal. but you get this feeling that something's up. paying it no mind, you continue on your way. so oblivious are you to whatever might be out there, you entertain the notion of taking a shortcut through the legendary Dark And Dank Alley. but standing there, at the mouth of the alleyway, you begin to hear creepy music spliced on top of the sound of a human heartbeat begin to gradually get louder and louder. you pause for exactly 1.2 seconds before deciding against that whole shortcut idea and call a cab.
• not that it's something that happens to you all that much but oops! ..looks like you forgot to return a movie at the video rental place again. but yer not outta luck yet - it closes at 10pm. you race to the store and glance at the time. your watch reads 9:58pm. you're at the other end of the parking lot. running and hurtling yourself across the concrete, you get to the door just as the video clerk begins locking it. out of breath, you stammer, "i'm sorry! i'm sorry! i'm sorry! i really tried not to be late!" the clerk just looks at you, smiling and nodding, and lets you in, locking the door behind you. the videoperson says, "naw, don't worry about it. it's okay." then you hear the cheesey 70s porno riff fading in from the background. ..you're about to find out exactly how okay it really is.

heh. now i know that this writeup is not exactly what was intended. but to answer the question, if i had a choice the soundtrack to my life would be from shaft.

damn skippy.