Dear loveless on the net,
This phenomena is not all that uncommon and is most often known as 'sour grapes'. Quoting from Aesop's Fables, The Fox and the Grapes:
A FAMISHED FOX saw some clusters of ripe black grapes hanging from a trellised vine. She resorted to all her tricks to get at them, but wearied herself in vain, for she could not reach them. At last she turned away, hiding her disappointment and saying: "The Grapes are sour, and not ripe as I thought."
This classic story is the same here. The grapes have not changed, all that has changed is how the grapes are perceived
. Likewise, the object of your former attentions
has not changed but your view
of her has.
Relationships are built on similarities. We find ourselves attracted to people who are attracted to us. This forms a cycle of "I like you, you like me" that grows. The reverse can also be true, "You don't like me, I don't like you" also forms a cycle, though diminishing.
If I may take a guess as to age (please do not be offended if I am incorrect), I would place your age in the ball park of early highschool. This is a time when hormones are ranging and playing tricks with our emotions. Looking back at my own experiences (hey! I'm not that old! or am I?) it seems now that what I felt was way out of proportion with the magnitude of the actual events.
Whatever the case, I urge you to try to keep friendship. A friendship based on other things than feelings in the groin is something to be treasured. Even with the terrible words that men loathe to hear, 'just friends' can be the most important people in our lives.
someone who has been there more than once