At first, the more times I watched Fight Club, the more this line bothered me. Ed Norton's character had just gotten everything he wanted: freedom from his job, revenge on his boss. "We now had corporate sponsorship, and this is how Tyler and I were able to have Fight Club every night of the week." How triumphant! Everything he wanted. That which did not matter, at last sliding.

We pan to him lurking amidst the throng of grunting, cheering men, surrounded by sweat.

"I am Jack's wasted life."

But now it's the best line of the movie, and the part of it I missed so long. I took away from Fight Club the knowledge of the fact that there was something missing and wrong in my life, and that my priorities were no longer my own. I took from Fight Club the knowledge that I am just a part of the all singing all dancing crap of the world. I took it too far. It got me in trouble, thinking I was just one girl in billions and billions unworthy of one of the gems of the world's attention. It didn't give me anywhere to go.

If self-improvement is masturbation, self-destruction is suicide. Norton may have been destroying himself full-time, but he still wasn't making anything that was important to him. Self-destruction helps, but it isn't the answer. Deprioritizing the crap in your life helps, but it's nothing if you don't find something new to put at the top of that list. Knowing is half the battle, but half isn't anywhere close to whole.

Me, I stopped moping in all the discouragement and started making something I cared about, and everything changed in an instant.

If I weren't Jack's wasted life, we'd have a very, very different ending.

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