...and boy, are my arms tired!

Mental masturbation, contrary to popular belief, does not involve visualizing sexy spirits, summoning the Great and Roving Cock of Babylon, or even taper candles.
In fact, all it takes to masturbate with your brain alone is talent. And that's a talent for getting lost in your own world, by the way. The farther out you can step from reality, and the longer you can stay there, the better. Kinda like your standard blowjob, but it hurts your neck less.

So, for the last two weeks, I've been riding the Everything mental masturbatory train to the edges of infinity and back, purely for scientific reasons, of course. I've found Zen koans, but those were too obvious, so I switched over to pot (lots of stimulus in those nodes), from there to fictional characters--woo!--and back, eventually, to politics. Politics was a challenge.
But that got boring too; I needed something to stimulate that cerebral g-spot everybody talks about.

So I started on everything users. Oh yes, many of you have been victimized. For all you know, your e-personalities have been sloshing in my pineal secretions for days now. Are you feeling tired? Stretched out, maybe? Does your brain have a wrinkle or two that wasn't there before? Is that medulla a little limp today? (You'll know that your medulla is limp if you occasionally stop breathing, I think).

So yes, ok, fine, I've been mentally masturbating for weeks, lost in the infinitudes of something or other that is definitely not reality, ooh-ing and aah-ing and occasionally even making that face while I was at work. But be careful condemning me, because for all you know, you've been doing it with me. Ooh. Aah. Think harder for me! Think faster!!!



...and don't be silly, of course this was a nodeshell challenge, and you can blame hoopy_frood fo the other end of it. Don't worry, I'm exacting my revenge as we speak...his medulla will be sore for weeks.

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