I went to the Halsted Street Market Days in Chicago today. The neighborhood around Halsted and Belmont in Chicago is sometimes called Boytown for the large gay and lesbian community that has sprung up there. So HSMD ends up being mostly a big gay bash *wince*. Sorry, anyway...

In my continuing quest to wear homemade clothes to events that have a large attendance, I grabbed a white t-shirt and neatly printed, "I'm straight, but you might be the one." on it in block letters with a big Sharpie. I got hit on by everything that moved. Talk about a cheap ego boost. This was way better than wearing my "My god can beat up your god" t-shirt to the Cornerstone Christian music festival.

A gorgeous trans-either-vestite-or-gender person walked right up to me and said by way of introduction, "You're coming home with me tonight honey. We'll see how straight you are." I gotta tell ya I was moved, literally. Other than a brief flirtation with arrowfall that's the closest I've come to going home with a guy. Of course, I'm not sure that really would've counted as I was going home with shem for looking a like a hot redheaded girl, but that's not the point. Well, maybe it is... I'm confused;)

Actually, I am kind of confused.

You share my love of music, it speaks to you, heals you.
There is quiet peace between us, an understanding,
Even as we analyze our siblings and parents together.
And I knew you were attracted to other women,
though at first it didn't occur to me that I could be one of them.
Perhaps it was my sheltered upbringing.

But I know you too well. I can interpret your under-the-breath comments,
and I know when to take you seriously. I knew immediately.
And I had never felt so incredibly out of my league before-
In the familiar, yet now unfamiliar territory of a woman's heart.
Then I soul-searched, thought-sought,
and found no reciprocating desire for you.

You know that you are a near-perfect match for me.
And you seem to love me unselfishly, in spite of me.
You have raised my standards, and now I am afraid that I will
never find a man who could possibly reach them.
But even more, I am afraid of hurting you by staying close.
I know how much you like a challenge, so lush as I may be,
I think this has less to do with me
And more to do with the concept of unattainability.
I don't want to hurt you.
I want to want you.

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