Hurricane Harbor is a water park located in Eureka, MO. It is attached to the Six Flags St. Louis theme park. Hurricane Harbor features several water rides where guests can get wet and have fun after they pay the $40 entrance fee. The fee is quite steep especially when you go on a day where the park is experiencing heavy volume.

One of the big water attractions at Hurricane Harbor is the Big Kahuna. It’s a six-story family raft ride that has the longest wait line in the entire park. You wait for about an hour to go down a 14 foot wide slide in a raft with your family. Hardly worth the wait especially if you get stuck behind a redneck.

After that take a ride on the high-speed body slides. The line is just as long for this one as the Big Kahuna, but moves much faster. You get your choice of either a red or blue tunnel slide where you plummet 50 feet into a pool of water or a green open slide where to fall at a 45 degree angle onto the ground. They look much better from a distance.

After enduring those two rides maybe you should head over to Hook’s Lagoon. This is the area designed for kids, but there a many overweight adults trying to cool off here too. This is a five story structure with over 75 water gadgets that includes a huge bucket that is filled with 1000 gallons of water to be dumped on the waiting crowd below. There are also three slide on Hook’s Lagoon but most of them are so slow that you have to give yourself several pushes to get to the bottom pool where the unfriendly lifeguard awaits your arrival.

Still looking for adventure? Head on over to Hurricane Bay, the local wave pool. Push your way in between the several hundred farmer’s tanned people who are looking for a taste of the ocean in the middle of North America. The water is calm for 5 minutes and the waves flow for seven minutes. Then, at the end of every hour everyone must exit the pool for a safety break. I’m still not sure what the point of this is. I guess to avoid lawsuits or to see if there are and dead bodies floating after everyone exits.

If you don’t feel like waiting out the fifteen-minute safety break, walk over to Gulleywasher Creek, or known to most water park enthusiasts, a lazy river. You must have a plastic inner tube to be a part of this ride. You have two options. Waits in a line for use of the blue ‘house’ tubes, or pay $9 for your very own yellow ‘rental’ tube. Either way you will end up floating through the 1100-foot river of water. Avoid the waterfalls or head directly for them. The fun is endless as long as you avoid the soccer moms trying to locate all seven of her kids as they get lost through out the ride.

After all that excitement wander over to Monsoon Marge’s Trading Company for some overpriced swimming trunks or a raft that isn’t allowed on any of the ride. Or maybe you could head over to Hurricane Jane’ Island Café where you could pay three times as much for a Coke as you would at any normal establishment.

As always remember not to stand up during any of the rides and pack plenty of Band-Aids for the blisters you will have after walking around on the dirty, hot pavement all day long.

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