Home Despot (homo instabilis)

A fairly common species of mammal, resembling homo sapien in many ways. The main difference is this creature appears to be part of a large cushioned chair.

Location and Diet

Home Despot can be found in many parts of the United States (Although, there have also been sightings Europe, Africa, and Asia). They live predominantly on beer and TV dinners, although recent studies have discovered they occassionally drink hard liquor as well.

Sounds and Potential Dangers

Easily identified by such interesting calls as "When are you gonna finish making dinner, bitch!" and "Will you fucking kids get away from the TV!", Home Despot can be frightening at first, since it is easily enraged, but studies have shown that it rarely moves. The main danger presented is from the possibility of launched beer cans. It eats, sleeps, and lives in front of a television set. If you live in its den, however, it can be very dangerous.

Identification and Hunting

Spotting the Home Despot is easy. They usually wear the same articles for weeks, and many have been spotted wearing dirty white tank tops with sweat and beer stains. There is usually some form of alcohol nearby, or if not, you can hear it bellowing for more from miles away. Be careful when hunting this beast not to shoot the beer out of its hand. This will only enrage the creature and may cause it (in very rare circumstances) to charge.

There is little profit to be had in hunting the Home Despot. Any money made from such a venture is usually offset by the vast amount of cleaning a transport vehicle would require.

Nodeshell Rescue

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