So you got some porn, maybe a nice Hustler, but don't know where to put it to hide it from your parents? There are many crafty ideas I have gathered over the years to help avert this problem. I no longer look at porn, but I never got caught in my years of viewing.

The obvious places to hide porn mags are in the sock drawer, between the mattresses, and other such tired spots. There are better places . . .

One of my first mags was a Playboy. At the time I was an avid PC Gamer reader. Using an exacto, I cut the spine and covers (in one piece) off the magazine and glued the playboy within the covers, and it looked exactly like another PCG. Because of this disguise, I was able to leave it lying around my room, unhidden.

Another good idea is to take a manila folder. Tape the sides closed, so that it's like a record jacket. Then, using double-stick tape or more of the same tape, tape the folder to the underside of a dresser, desk, or whatever you can reach under. Then, slide a mag inside, hidden from view, and relax.

In my basement, there is an area with a couch and my guitar where I hang out a lot. One day I thought, "Man, I'd really like access to some porn down here". In my particular basement, there are overhanging heating ducts near the ceiling. So, I put mags in the small space between the ceiling and the top of the ducts, giving me easy and totally safe availability of dirty pictures.

If you have any skill with your hands, you might want to consider building a false bottom to a drawer in a desk or dresser. With a small piece of plywood (that fits the inner area of the drawer), and a couple pegs to hold the false bottom above the actual bottom, you could have a great hiding spot in under an hour.

If you fit into none of these situations, you can always do the "box in a box in a ..." method. Basically, take a shoebox, put the mag in a folder in the shoebox, and bury the shoebox in some shit in your closet. Could be risky, depends on the parents.

Have fun, and don't get caught.

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