My wife and I just received the following custom-printed non-denominational season's greeting in the mail from a couple we know. While I am all for covering your bases, this seems to me a little extreme.

It is perhaps worth mentioning that there was no return address on the envelope. Our names and address were preprinted, and where the couple's signatures would normally go on the card--a cream-colored affair featuring a photo of the senders surrounded by holiday-neutral wishes such as PEACE and JOY--their names had instead been inserted via computer in a small, tasteful font.

There is, in short, no evidence that any part of this gift of holiday cheer has ever been touched by a human being, and this applies to the message inside as well:

During this traditional time of sending greetings,
we're glad of the opportunity to let you know
that we treasure our associations with you.

I have provided a translation below for those of you who don't speak Ambiguity:

Since everyone else is sending cards,
we figured we were obligated to send one to you
whoever the hell you are.

Needless to say, we were deeply touched by this evidence that their feelings regarding our association were not untinged with positive emotion of some sort. We are considering making a similar gesture in return, perhaps by mailing them a small, featureless steel cube.

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