The first thing that happens when you get dumped is they take their CD’s.  It’s common knowledge.  They’ve left more developed footprints in your so called relationship, but they know that the CD collection would only cause long term damage to your ego.  It’s in your best interest; don’t fight it.

 

Next, they take that sweater.  If you’d hung onto it, knowing that they’d been wrapped up inside many, many times in front of the television, just seeing the cuffs creeping out of the hiding place underneath your bed would be enough to drive you over the edge.  And, I think the sweater is more of a comfort thing for them, a little something to remember you by, if you will.  Take it as a compliment.  They hate your guts, but still wants to remember those “good” times.  When were they anyways?

 

Finally, they pack up and leave.  Maybe they take an LP or two, but those don’t matter in the long run.  You probably spent ages rummaging through the music store to find the last Sgt. Pepper’s album.  I know it was the first to have the lyrics printed on the reverse of the sleeve, but do you think she knew that?  Plus, the LP came with Sgt. Pepper cardboard cutouts complete with mustache, a picture card, sergeant strips, and some badges.  You still have the mementos, so quit sobbing in the sheets you manly man.

 

They are now complete and ready to start a new life without you.  Cheer up, you’re back in the game, all gun loaded and the safety off.  Alright bad analogy, don’t do anything stupid champ.  Get out there and do what God made you to do.  And check out the brunette with the massive….and your off.

 

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