It recently occurred to me that, beside Sinead O'Connor, Everyone likes the Pope. I read in the news this morning that he went to visit the "Holy Land". Supposedly he and Arafat got on well. Who gets along with Arafat? The Pope does. He kissed a bowl of Palestinian dirt; apparently that is a big thing, to kiss the bowl of dirt. Then again, anything kissed by the Pope is probably a big deal.

So besides his religious stance on certain trivial issues, what has the guy really done wrong to anyone? I'm asking, because I honestly don't know. You all know me, between Saige and I, we could be melded together and quite viably be accused of being the anti-Christ and I still think the Pope is cool. He seems to be a rather diplomatic fellow.

So my question is, is there in fact something I am missing here about the Pope, or is he doing a pretty good job of being Pope-like?

Before JP2, the Catholic Church was becoming truly catholic (lowercase 'c', as in universal). It was coming to terms with its old theocratic feudalistic self. It was becoming a truly modern (in the best sense of the word) Church. That process started when Pope John XXIII opened the window (literally) and said, let us allow fresh air enter the Church. The process was continued by Paul VI, and by John Paul I, though his pontificate only lasted for 33 days.

Then came John Paul II. At first, the world was ecstatic - the first non-Italian Pope in a long, long, time. He was expected to bring the process of aggiornamento (modernization) to the new level.

No one realized JP2 was an aparatchik who seemed modern only because he believed the Pope was someone to be followed and obeyed blindly and without questioning. He did just that while he was still the archbishop of Krakow. It turned out that once he became the Pope, he expected the same blind loyalty from everyone else.

JP2 did not bring the process of modernization to the new level. He nipped it in the bud. He thrust the Catholic Church way back to the Middle Ages. He started by recreating the Church hierarchy in his own image. He systematically replaced leading hierarchs by ultraconservatives. He did not know how much time he had (though, for a Pope, he was quite young), so he mandated that bishops and archbishops had to resign at a certain age (which, incidentally he failed to do when he reached that age himself), so he could speed up the replacement process.

This has brought about many problems. For example, fewer men decided to go to the priesthood. He blamed that on the lack of commitment among young men of this generation.

He made it impossible for a priest to leave the priesthood with Church's blessing.

He redefined the meaning of ecumenism, i.e., dialog with other Christian churches and denominations into meaning: You want union? Come back to the Catholic Church! Hardly an ecumenical attitude.

A standing joke in Rome is:

Jesus came to check on JP2, and asked: "Are priests getting married?"

"Not while I am the Pope!"

"Are nuns leaving convents?"

"Not while I am the Pope!"

"Are monks leaving their orders?"

"Not while I am the Pope!"

At that point, Jesus decided he had seen enough and was ready to leave. But JP2 said, "I have a small request, Lord."

"What is it, Son?"

"Please make sure the next Pope is Polish, too."

Jesus turned to him slowly, and said: "Not while I am the Son of God!"