"There's a reason splinters are difficult to remove. They are designed to be easier to put in. Leave them there!"

This was the title of a node I was creating, as I dug great, 1-inch-long splinters out of my skin. I was wishing I had my tweezers, which I had just been using a minute ago - although I can't remember for what.

For some reason I thought that this was the cleverest title for a node ever.

Hamsters to the right of me.

Hamsters to the left of me.

Hamsters in front of me.

I walked into my room to find hundreds and hundreds of hamsters roaming around. Two in the corner having sex, one on my desk giving birth, and others just sleeping and tearing all my shit apart. I close the door to my room and walk out. I really didnt want to have to take care of it. I'm now in my kitchen and when I try to open the new fridge my mom just bought, the handle falls off. I giggle. My mom hears me and walks into the kitchen. BAM! I got knocked upside my head. I take of running to my room before she hits me anymore.
I open the door. Hamsters are still there. I knock all the hamsters off my desk and sign on into e2 to node my daylog(my mom hitting my upside my head) I get on and have a message from Mordel saying he was completely in love with me. A huge smile comes to my face. Instead of noding, I decide to call him up. I dial-up his number and when he picks up he sounds like an 80 year old man. I say, "Hey, this is clearpebbles." He replies, "What you calling me for, you slut?" I wake up.
I was pregnant. I could feel my belly grow and it was snowing outside. I could feel my clothes morph into pregnancy garb. My belly was round and hard like a ball but inside I could feel the heart beating and the child thrashing about.

I my dream I was surprised how little terrified I was of the whole thing. People brought me presents and I took them. Someone threw a dinner party. All the while I could feel the life lurking inside me and in a dream-like state whithin an already half waking dream (it was morning) I was telling myself not to worry, it's not real until it's born. It's not real until it's born. It's not real until it's born.

I'm riding in the back of a limousine drinking out of a bottle of cheap champagne, no glass. In the limousine with me is Lisa Kudrow who is busy filing her nails. I'm wearing about six of those plastic bracelets that were popular in the eighties, a funky red vinyl jacket with huge shoulder pads, high-water black pants with white sweatsocks and dress shoes and lace gloves without fingers. Lisa is wearing a fake purple fur stole and a sequined minidress with marabou feather trim.

We pull up in front of a club, it looks like the Roxy in Los Angeles, but the marquee says Dec-A-Dance. Lisa and I get out of the limo,apparently the driver was too lazy to open the door for us. We walk to the front door and the bouncer removes the velvet rope to let me in, but stops Lisa Kudrow and cards her. She tells me to go on in, so I do. I walk through a long dark, smoke-filled hallway and open another door. Suddenly I find myself in a ballroom-type sitting with an eighties punk band on the stage. Everyone turns to look at me as I enter and the band stops playing. The hipsters on the floor form a semi-circle around me and the lead guitarist winks at me, and suddenly the band begins playing "Are you Ready for the sex girls?" as I walk in. Lisa Kudrow taps me on the shoulder and slaps me.

"At that moment Dorothy saw lying on the table
the silver shoes
that had belonged to the
Witch of the East.
'I wonder if they will fit me,' she said to Toto.
'They would be just the thing to take a long walk in,
for they could not wear out."

~I ran into the rec center at the school and the vice principal said Hurry up Lo we need someone to translate!

Parlez-vous Fran├žais?
thinking I speak Spanish much better. It was lunchtime
and the student was reading the paper at the picnic table in the cafeteria. Excitedly she pointed to the ad for
the silver shoes marked up to $1000.00 from $299.99.
How clever the advertisment was to have woven a sample of the shoe fabic right
into the newpaper. I could feel the texture when I reached out to touch it. It was clearly not a language barrier, but
a reason barrier and I was going to have a hard time translating why she wanted to buy this shoe for her friend .

~ I looked off and on all night for a scripture in the Bible to express how angry I was.
It was aggravating to never find one.

~ I was so annoyed with her I didn't even care enough to hate her.......
THAT'S how annoying she was! That's pretty darned annoying, I told my husband

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