I am one half of a failed marriage.
Although there was a huge dealbreaker
that led me to leave him, there were many reasons why the relationship was doomed from the start. Not the least among those reasons was the fact that deep down, I didn't think marrying him was a good idea
. But it's amazing how easy it is to be carried off in the idea that marriage is the next logical step, and once that ball gets rolling, it's intensely difficult to stop it.
I remember praying to God that if I wasn't supposed to get married, he would stop it. After all, he is God. There were any number of ways he could have done it. I waited for our premarital counselors to tell us we weren't ready. I waited for the pastor to refuse to marry us. I waited for the church to lose power on the day of the wedding, the bridesmaids to all fall ill, and the tuxedo rental store to accidentally give all the groomsmen a tux three sizes too small. God did not orchestrate any such occurrance on my behalf. Of course, being the rational organism that I am, I assumed that meant that I was doing the right thing, even though it felt wrong.
This is yet another example of learning an important lesson the hard and stupid way.
God has a life. He's not interested in toying with mine. He cares about what I do, he listens when I talk to him, but he's not going to go around arranging impenetrable walls to order my life like I'm some rat in a laboratory maze. I knew what I was doing was a bad idea. God wanted me to act on that knowledge, not demand that he pluck me from the situation I had stupidly gotten myself into.
So, if you're about to walk off the edge of a cliff, knowing that there are sharp and jagged rocks at the bottom, don't look up to heaven and beg God to stop you if he doesn't want you to die. He expects us to use the common sense that was birthed into us. God will not save you from stupidity.