My Mom... again
Last Saturday, December 16, 2006
I passed my mother on the street without recognizing her. Last time I saw her was in July yeah, I know... I'm a bad, bad daughter...
and I know
it's been four months, and she is
78... but still.
I was walking down the street towards her building, and I met a little old lady, walking somewhat unsteadily in the opposite direction. At first glance I thought it was my Mom, but then I saw that she was much older and smaller. She walked with shorter steps, and peered at me as we passed. No, she looked nothing like my Mom.
Yes, I more or less looked her straight in the eye - and I still didn't recognize her.
She has become so old. Forgetful she has always been, more so these last five or six years. But she never really looked old. She has always been so proud of the fact that she looked much younger than her age. But now...
I think I am beginning to ready myself for the inevitable. I hope she will not have to go the way my father did: slowly, over a period of six years. Suffering one stroke after the other, wasting away in either pain or a drug induced haze. My Mom tried to take care of him herself for the longest time, but in the end he had to be lifted and carried to and from bed - and so she had to give up and find a nursing home close by. She did all she could. She just couldn't do it all.
I am trying to make her come to my place for Christmas, as she has never been here. I've lived here for six years, but she really hates to travel... I am fairly convinced she'll weasel out of it, though. She'll come down with a cold and call me on the morning of Christmas day, telling me she can't come. But I bought food and snacks for the three of us: my daughter, my Mom, and myself because she might surprise me. You never know.
I am rambling, ain't I? I am confused and I am rambling on. Well... as usual I thank you for your time. Now go read something else.
Update:I called her today to remind her, yet again, that she was coming to my place for the holidays. She had forgotten, again, but came straight out and told me she didn't feel like travelling (from Helsingborg, Sweden to Copenhagen, Denmark, a trip that takes some three hours, alles in alles). I said it was okay. And it is.