Welcome to the Transcontinental Road Race. The following scores have been issued by our very own Mr. President for this historic year 2000 Road Race...
...teenagers, forty points...
...toddlers, seventy points...
...seniors, one hundred points...
...and for all you lucky ladies out there, a racer will receive an additional ten points for every woman scored... and the race committee wishes to remind you all that any score is a good score!
Death Race 2000 is a horribly bad movie from 1975 starring David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone. The premise - five racers compete in a transcontinental road race where the winner is not who finishes first, but rather who 'scores' the most people. The funny thing is... people just sit there on the track and wait to get mowed down. There's one scene where three guys are standing in the road, waiting for Machine Gun Joe Viturbo (Stallone) to come down the road. When they see him, the first guy jumps down a manhole... the second guy jumps down a manhole... the third guy tries to jump down the manhole, but the second guy replaced it on him as a joke. As a result, he gets gunned down. But then they pop out of the manhole, and get decapitated by Viturbo's car, which has a giant knife blade on the front of it. Naturally, the families of those killed get prizes like trips to Acapulco and big screen TVs.
The film attempts to inject some sense of a plot by giving Frankenstein (the most famous racer of them all) a brand new navigator who is on a secret mission to kill the President of the 'United Provinces of America' and end the road race for good. This resistance movement hunts down then racers one by one in an act of war against the tyrannical President. It's a very Logan's Run-like world - freaky and almost apocalyptic - and the President rules as an almost God-like figure. The President is personal friends with Frankenstein, a man shrouded entirely in leather, because he lost an arm and a leg, and has "half a face and half a chest, and all the guts in the world".
My favorite quotes:
"What is that?!"
"Euthenasia day at the geriatrics hospital. They do it every year."
(Nero the Hero sees a bunch of picnickers)
"If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother!"
(They scatter, leaving the baby on the blanket.)
"GO FOR THE BABY! THE BABY!"
"Bye bye, baby! Hello, seventy points!"