The following is a letter that I am writing to one of my closest friends in the entire world. I find it appropriate that his name is John.
Frankly, I don't know what to say to you. I really don't, which is surprising... seeing as I'm the girl reputed to type term papers in a single fell swoop of the hand and to possess a wit quicker than a Who's Line comedian. I could be the typical girl and spout out some "let's just be friends" line, which is probably tantamount to running over your entrails with a Mack truck, and even more painful. But the truth is I do want to be friends... I just don't want you to believe that this is my subtle way of saying that I would never sleep with you or consider you in any romantic way. Do you want to know the truth? My footsteps quicken when I see you, my heart beats faster, my breathing deepens, my nether regions.. okay, you probably didn't want to know about that. Yet. But my feelings for you are definitely not limited to the platonic.
So, you must be wondering what the hell is wrong with me. The problem is that I don't know what's wrong with me- you're attractive in that bohemian bad guy way that I can detect within a fifty mile radius. You're smart and thoughtful and artistic. Essentially, you're my polar opposite (although our shared passion for sushi is NOT hurting your prospects with me in any way). And maybe that's the problem- I see what could be the biggest and most perfect decision of my life, and my strictly analytical mind begs to differ with what might be a (gasp!) spontaneous decision, something rather difficult for me to understand. Adults peg me as the "better" one because I just so happen to feel like humoring the educational system. But to hear you speak is to realize that all of my so called rational thoughts, all of my math and science and logic and reason, pales in comparison to possessing a deep passion and conviction for what you believe in.
I definitely see myself getting to know you in the future. I want to be your friend now, and I don't want to exclude the prospect of being with you, now or later. However, I've been through many relationships in the past year and realize that my emotions can be quite ephemeral; I tag feelings of love not because I love the person but because I simply love being in love. And I don't want to do that with you, I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to make you cry in a month. I want to wait and see, and if you think I am trying to lie to you or deceive you then that is fine, you are obviously not the man that I think you are now. I'm young, John, and the implications of what you are asking for are going to take me quite a while to consider. But know that I love you and will always be here, waiting to listen and appreciate the wonder that is you.