This song is used in one of the funniest parts of a very funny movie, Office Space, for anyone who has ever worked in a crappy office or a cube farm. While this song is playing, the main character steals his boss' parking space, destroys the door that always shocks him, and takes apart his cubicle so he can see the window.

Plus, it is the source of my screenname :).

Well, when I kept seeing this title on E2s opening page, it trigged the memory of this story a guy called Eddie told me. I have no doubt it is true, as this is the same Eddie from Why I torched the Crack house. The incident was big news in the neighborhood, and I asked him what had happened to those two guys when I saw him about one week later.

If this one doesn't get downvoted too much I'll post more stories. I hung out with Fern and Eddie a great deal, and for better or worse, this is reality; this is their life in Manhattan's Lower East Side during the 1980s.

In other words, this is a true story.


"Looked out da window of mah crib and damn if dose boyz aint workin’ on mah corner! Warned ‘em before and des one time too many so’s now somethings gots ta be done. Take care ‘o bizness ah do.

Almos fell gettin mah pants on. Still doin da parole thang and hasslin with 5-0 so’s ah grab big cookn slasher on mah way out de door. ‘Tole Woman watch mah back from de window with mah piece.

Ah almos fell down de stairs ‘den ah was out on de street wif flash and fury. Dey heard crib door slam open 'n all three look in mah direction.

Grabbed mah loose pants with one han as ah ran to keep them from flopping down on mah bony ass and when ‘de cole air hits mah chest ah realised ah 'ain put on no shirt.

When dey saw me one of dem niggah done runs off but ‘de other twos comes runs in mah direction.

“Less do ‘em!” one shouts to ‘de oddah. “Yeah” he sez.

Deys boths wanting ta gets me bad so one runs faster den de other. Ah sidstepps when niggah jumps ‘fo me an rubbs mah blade hard on his throat as he passes.

Grunts like one a ‘dem pitt bulls dyin’ fallin’ down hard and holdin his throat but when a niggah bleeds like ‘dat yew jus' know he aint gonna fuck no ‘mo.

Second niggah runs slower but when he sees wot ah done to ‘de first he stops ‘an yells at me. Ahm not scared of no yelling niggah so's I ram forwad and kick 'em hard in ‘de balls. Landing from ‘de kick I stick ‘em wif de blade low in ‘de gut.

Niggah screams but with mah two hans on ‘de blade ah lifts ‘em hard right off ‘de groun, lets ‘em kick ‘n twist! Cars stoppin’ and folks yelling, ah wuz all evil ‘n fire.

“TOLE YEW” ah shouts. Niggahs on mah blade ‘n ah jerked ‘em aroun in ‘de air.

“Ahh Lord lord please! ahhh, gughghhhhhhhhh, fuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Niggahs eyes closin.

Now hes gone ‘n ah know dis fucker ain’t ‘gonna bother me no ‘mo.

Lets ‘em fall to the ‘groun, ah cleans mah blade off on his pants. Hard breathing ahm fury ‘n looking ‘round but ahm all flash so ainst nobody wantin two be lookin at me now. Folks mindin' 'dere own biznes 'dey iz.

Go back to mah crib not worried – nobody saw nuffin.

Boyz ‘re dere and wes laughing 'bout how ‘des niggahs just tawkin men.

Phew hits off ‘de pipe – calm down...woman rubbing mah neck...she's all 'relax baby'. Back into bed wif ‘de woman ‘den she starts showing me what her loving was all about. Business allwrite, 'n ah know ahm going to 'de club datnite."

Eddie takes a long deep drag off his cigarette, exhales hard and smiles at me through half closed eyes, seemingly telling me that I should understand what he was going to say next :

"Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta..."

Scary thing was, I almost did.

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