Daily Evil
yesterday's happy fun dance | tomorrow's happy fun dance

I started my new job last week, and very quickly discovered an oft-practiced company tradition - random spontaneous Nerf wars. Our office is entirely open, no cubicles, just desks, computers, and bookshelves full of O'Reilly books. This doesn't provide for much cover when your coworker across the room suddenly launches a barrage of Nerf missiles at you while you're debugging some code.

So, after a week of being badly overpowered (I was having to throw those Nerf darts manually rather than using the air-powered pistols everyone else had), I decided to do something about my plight. So I went to Target and bought myself a Nerf Wildfire. This baby holds 20-darts, has a range of 40 feet, and fires semi or fully-auto.

I got to work a few minutes late today. I was in badass mode. I made a point to wear my full-length trenchcoat, sunglasses, etc. I walked in the front doors. As usual, everyone glanced up and said hello. I opened my trenchcoat to reveal the enormous blue and orange flame-painted wonder that is the Wildfire.

While jaws were still dropping, and before anyone could even begin to consider the mere possibility of even thinking about diving for cover, I mashed down on the trigger and let forth a volley of screaming high velocity red foam death.

After the last dart whistled through the air, there was a long silence. And then an astonished coworker sent two meager darts whistling toward me in a feeble excuse for a return volley.

Ah, the beginning of a wonderful day...

Evil rating: 7 (of 10), because I looked like such a stupendous badass.

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