This is a collection of bloopers which have appeared in church bulletins across the U.S. This collection was placed in an Ann Landers column years ago, and was reprinted recently due to its popularity. We have to print her columns in the paper I work at on a weekly basis, and while the majority of them are boring or pointless, I've always had a fondness for this silly one.

  • Don't let worry kill you — let the church help.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  • The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Smith, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Smith.
  • Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me in my Little Bed," accompanied by the pastor.
  • Thursday, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
  • This being Easter Sunday, we ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early, and listen to our choir practice.
  • The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • The eighth-graders will be performing Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • For those who have children and don't know it, we have a new nursery.
  • Eight new choir robes are urgently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.

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