Welcome and enter the seedy underground world of cheese porn. Today in cheese porn world news;

Area Man Arrested in One Man Cheese Circle Jerk

PASTILLE, GA - Area resident Warwick Goulde was arrested Friday morning after his shouts of ecstasy were overhead by two neighbours and several passer-by's. "I was doing the dishes and I heard someone shout 'YES BABY YES!I love your cheesy love holes! Yeah, YEAH, YEAH!'" said Warwick's neighbour, Ms Ethel Capplet, aged 74. "Of course I knew something was amiss when I saw several wrappings for 'Geert's Aged Swiss Cheese' on his front lawn. A very popular cheese at the local store." Police confirmed that they found an array of strategically placed swiss cheeses dressed in erotic clothing throughout Mr Goulde's home.

Local Brothel Accused of Using Imported Labour

FROGSWORTH, TX - "I've seen some very under age Brie hanging around here lately." stated local business owner, Gupta Frenz. "I hate to think what kind of despicable, disgusting things they do in there.. AND they probably don't pay taxes!" Reports from other disgruntled locals about nearby "Cheese and Sin: Hot Lustful Cheese Action - All Ages" have been increasing over the past month. Insiders and past customers of Cheese and Sin have revealed that since new management have taken over the business classy cheese such as emmental and gouda have been given the flick, and cheap imported labour is being used more and more. Another resident who wished to remain anonymous stated that he has been finding used fungal syringes that probably have been left by some hard cheeses to get into the lucrative sex trade involving blue vein cheese. The man denied having any personal involvement what so ever.

Hit Porn Movie Star Tells All

HULKUM, PD - After a whirlwind six months, Ms Veronica Giblets revealed how she entered the underground world of cheese porn movies. "Well, one day I was approached by a man who offered to pay me exorbitant amounts of money to see my rind. The amount was too much to refuse." explains Ms Giblets, 2 yo, 36" Cheddar cheese wheel. "After I unwrapped I found out what this was really about, but I didn't mind at all. In fact I loved the attention." A close friend of Ms Giblets also entered the cheese porn movie industry as a fluffer around the same time - "Some of those smelly cheeses like esrom and stilton are difficult to work with but it's great when you get a true professional like a well aged camembert or brie."

In other news:

Deadly Fungus Implicated in Unsafe Cheese Sex

New DIY Cheese Sex Kitten Costume Included in Popular Love Making Kit

Italian President Owns Curious Array of Cheeses - Voters Ask Why

How Good Are You In Bed?: Cheese Love Making Quiz

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