Song I wrote to improve worker morale at the Bookstar in Santa Monica. Barnes and Noble was our parent company. I actually got the night shift to sing this one night after we'd closed, and it was truly beautiful and stirring. You will note a fair amount of corporate jingoism in evidence here; I actually like Borders very much, though I still consider Crown Books severely lacking in anything like customer service or atmosphere.

(To the tune of "My Darling Clementine")

Out in Fiction, out in Bargains, there's a book awaiting you;
Might be hardback, might be softback,
Might be red, green, or blue.

If you want it, we will find it, we will never shirk or fail.
We will sell it, we will wrap it,
but we won't ship it to jail.

Barnes and Noble, Barnes and Noble, may your standard ever wave,
In the city, in the country,
In a treehouse, in a cave.

You can go to Crown or Borders if you want a trip thru Hell;
Here's a wall to bang your head on,
Which would probably do as well.

Barnes and Noble, Barnes and Noble, may your standard ever wave,
Over New York, over L.A.
In a treehouse, in a cave.

Once more, with feeling:
Barnes and Noble, Barnes and Noble, may your standard ever wave,
Over New York, over L.A.
In a treehouse, in a cave.

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