"I WILL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!"

"Axe Cop" is a webcomic written by Malachai Nicolle and illustrated by Ethan Nicolle. It made its debut in late 2009/early 2010.

It may be the most astoundingly glorious webcomic in history. Why? Because although Ethan Nicolle is a professional artist and experienced comics creator, his brother Malachai, the writer, was just five years old when the comic first appeared.

Let me repeat for emphasis: The writer was five years old when the comic debuted.

Malachai is, at the time of this writeup, seven years old, but he's still absolutely devoted to dinosaurs, unicorns, babies, explosions, axes, zombies, and awesomeness.

Basically, Ethan came home for a Christmas visit and hung out with his little brother, who offered to let him play "Axe Cop" with him. Ethan decided to illustrate Malachai's stories to share with family and friends, and the extremely positive reaction convinced him to turn it into a full webcomic.

Our lead character is Axe Cop, a cop with mirrored sunglasses and an awesome mustache. He uses a fireman's axe to fight crime. He is ably assisted by Flute Cop, a cop who fights crime with a flute. In the very first episode, Flute Cop gets dinosaur blood on him and transforms into Dinosaur Soldier. In the third episode, Dinosaur Soldier eats an avocado and turns into Avocado Soldier. And in the fourth episode, he gets a magic, wish-granting unicorn horn and becomes Uni-Avocado Soldier. This happens to him a lot.

Axe Cop has lots of other allies, including:

And what do they do?

They fight aliens and robots and bad guys (often whole planets of bad guys) and monsters and things you wouldn't believe unless you knew that the series was written by a kid -- things like Telescope Gun Cop, Dr. Stinkyhead, Dr. Doo Doo, Pretzel Head, the Evil Flying Book, King Evilfatsozon, the Vampire Man Baby Kid, Eggy Eggy, Candy Candy, a noncomformist rabbit who walks and eats coconuts instead of hopping and eating carrots, Chuck Norris, and a duck who can shoot exploding eggs out of its butt.

And besides the regular webcomic, there's also "Ask Axe Cop," in which readers send Axe Cop their questions, and he answers them as awesomely as possible.

The comics have been collected by Dark Horse Comics, which is also publishing a miniseries called "Axe Cop: Bad Guy Earth." And Steve Jackson Games published a card game combining Axe Cop with their popular "Munchkin" games in late 2011.

You should read this comic, because you need more awesome in your life.

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