Amidala Got Back by Dyslexic
Apologies to Sir Mix-a-Lot

Intro
Oh, my, god. Bakki, look at her planet.
It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those Jedi guys' girlfriends.
But, y'know, who understands those Jedi guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she rules an entire planet, 'kay?
I mean, her hair, is just so big. *scoff*
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so...pale!


I like big hair and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a kabuki 'fro in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
'Cause you notice that hair was stuffed
High in tha air she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
Boba Fett tried to warn me
But that hair you got makes
me so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-pale-skin
You say you wanna get in my X-Wing?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause your hair ain't all droopy
I've seen Storm Troopers on fire
The hell with the Empire
She's sweat, wet,
Hair black like a turbo jet
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' Cinnamon Bun hair's the thing
Take the average Jedi and ask him that
She gotta have hair all matte
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the hair? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy 'do!
Baby got matte!

(Asia in the face with Naboo Nappies)
Baby got matte!

I like 'em round, and big
And I really dig them wigs
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an Womprat
Now here's my thoughts on that
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I'm talkin 'bout 'dos with style and poise
'Cause crew haircuts are made for boys
I want 'em real thick and foofy
So find that skyscrapin' wig
Jabba the Hutt's a pig
Always crashin the Ewok shindig
So I'm lookin' at rap videos
Anorexic bitches with really small 'fros
You can have them 'froless hoes
I hope Han Solo don't get refroze
A word to the thick kabuki mistress, I wanna get with yas
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Til the break of dawn
Amidala got it goin' on
A lot of Troopers won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to shine their helmets
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna roll in my podracer {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even Empire boys got to shout
Baby got matte!

Baby got matte!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to queens, Yoda ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection.

So your girlfriend rules a planet, playin' dance tapes by Janet
But Janet ain't got 20 stylists in the back of her planet
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got wigs, hon
You can twist it all and tease it
But please don't lose that hair
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the hair has got to go
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Vader says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your hair is kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the Galactic Senate and Senator Palpatine:
Amidala's hair is fine
Give me some hair and I can't stop starin'
The vitamin e sure ain't sparin'
Some knucklehead Darth tried to dis
'Cause his girl is on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the hair is round,
And you want a trade treaty throw down,
Dial 1-900-JEDIKNIGHT
And we'll be there to fight
Baby got matte!

(Little in the middle but she got much matte)


Yet another nodeshell rescued.

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