This was written by an anonymous author, and is not my own work. PLEASE note that this is a joke, don't read on if you can't take a little parody of your religious preference every once and awhile (Like, if you're a right-wing Christian extremist, for example). I warned you...

A Short Guide to Comparative Religions

Taoism: Shit happens
Confucianism: Confucius says, "Shit Happens."
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it really isn't shit.
Seventh Day Adventist: No shit on Saturdays.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Mormon: This shit is going to happen again.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you are BAAAAAD. (I love this one)
Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to US?!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.
Christian Science: Shit is in your mind.
Atheism: Sheeeeit.
Existentialism: What is shit anyway?
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.

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