I'm not feeling very good. I took some meds, drank two massive cups of coffee, went out with a nice girl, and got amicably rejected. That's how the day has ended. Final, in a way most days aren't, except for this caffeine and drug induced insomnia that I've bought upon myself afterwards. I don't know what more to say, but I'll try.
When I got up today and scrambled to the bus station, I saw a clump of pubes. They were resting on the ground, like a tiny misshapen pubic tumbleweed. My first thought was that they would make great descriptive daylog fodder. My second thought was how they got there. Maybe someone purposely threw them outside in a clump so they could see the world. A nice gesture, considering how rarely pubes get to experience the outside world without being sqooshed into some sticky orifice or another.
Anyway, the bus came and I got on. I was twenty minutes late for my first class, but nobody cared. All my classes are leftover prereqs this summer and are more or less about material I learned in grade school. I was literally taught the definition of summarizing and paraphrasing today. That's how low the expectations are for these classes.
To be fair, most of my fellow students are non-native speakers. There are at least two Caribbean black men in my basic comp class with accents so thick you could wedge a door open with them. Others have arrived here from various subsections of South America. One of the most interesting (to me) is a very nice Russian transgender woman who seems to have had a very interesting life that I would definitely ask about if I wasn't afraid of somehow offending her and getting punched out. It's not that she's extremely manly or anything (really, quite pretty all things considered) but her arms are positively jacked and she works "in construction". I don't want to mess with that.
Hmm. She does have great taste in shoes though. Maybe I should tell her that.
Anyway, after school today I went home, cleaned up, and hung out with an old friend who I made the mistake of asking out afterwards. As I said, I got rejected. I have another date coming up, but I'm not enthused. I feel empty all the time. Creativity comes and goes but seems mostly to be waning. Right now I'm too stimulated not to write something; I hope you don't blame me if this is no good. Not that I need your validation, but it would be nice.
Oh god, I'm desperate.
Okay, I'm sorry. This isn't the way it's supposed to go. I'm three days into the second summer of turning my life around and I'm still whinging like it's Day 1. I should treat this part of my life like it's going to be a movie montage someday. It's funny how they never show the hero falling apart in those montages. It's just assumed he focuses his life on one thing and risks it all for one thing without ever falling down. Just punching the frozen cow until he's all done. Then bam, it's fight time.
And yeah, I know he loses. But he gets the girl, right?
Right?