The very talented, very funny, and very red-headed announcer on the Late Show with David Letterman. Alan has been the voice of the Late Show since September 5, 1995. His job consists of announcing the guests at the beginning of each show, introducing David Letterman, and every now and then, if we're lucky, having a frank discussion with female audience members regarding "special services" that "Big Red" can provide.

He's also responsible for the hilarious (if repetetive) "Alan Kalter's Campaign Roundup", which was featured on the Late Show nearly every night from November to December of 2000.

Occasionally, he flips out and runs around the theatre yelling like a madman and tearing off his clothes. He's very flabby and pale. Ugh.