How To Steal From Your Work.

  1. Never take anything that will be noticed right away. (Don't walk away with the network server, etc).
  2. If you are stealing something that doesn't appear to be used much, try moving it first to see if anyone even notices.
  3. Never ever let yourself be the prime suspect. (If everyone knows you are the only computer nerd at your work don't steal any computers).
  4. If another employee is retiring, quitting, etc, you should use that opportunity to its fullest. Anything that turns up missing will probably be blamed on the old employee.
  5. The same thing with new employees. (See #4).
A few things you can steal if you can't think of anything
  1. Always steal any software installation discs to any computers at your job. People may never notice these are missing at all. And if they do the computer in question may be replaced as broken if your management is clueless enough. (Allowing you to steal the old computer out of the storage closet or where ever they chuck it).
  2. Some more computer tips. (If you have enough time alone to do these). Switch out processors for slower ones. (Don't change the dip switch settings though leave them overclocked, eventually they will be replaced). Switch hard drives out for smaller ones. (Many work computers will only be using 200 - 300 megabytes of hard drive space anyway. Pull out unused expansion cards. Take printer cartridges also.
  3. For hotel workers. Build up a lifetime supply of towels, shampoo, soap, etc. Also people often leave things in rooms after they check out. Be sure and check the lost and found also.
  4. Fast food workers. Always be on the lookout for stacks free coupons, one stack of promo coupons can feed a person for a year. Mc Donalds workers should also try and snag a box of hashbrown wrappers every time there is a contest. (Box is very small, has 1000 wrappers inside with game pieces, and 1 in 3 win something).
  5. Gas Station Workers. Did you ever see those pack of cigarettes that are buy one get one free. You can just take the free one out of the sleeve and put the normal one back on the shelf. (The free ones are not inventoried at most gas stations).
  6. Retail Workers. You may have a lot of cameras on you but it is quite easy to make off with all sorts of things especially if you have an accomplice. One of the best scams is ringing up items that sound similar on the receipt, but cost a lot less. For example your friend comes in to buy a copy of Adobe Photoshop. (normally around $600 bucks), and you ring up Learning Adobe Photoshop 6.0, (a book that retails for about 25 bucks). The receipt will say photoshop, the guy at the door who checks receipts will see photoshop on the box and photoshop on the receipt. (This works with all sorts of stuff).
  7. Finally if it has dust on it you can probably take it without anyone noticing for months.

The above is for Entertainment purposes only. If you are stealing from your employer, you will eventually get caught. It is only a matter of time before you do. You do not want to go to jail. So don't do this.