It might come as a shock, but there are people out there who do not know how to cook grits. For those people, for I was once one of those people, here is this simple how to guide for cooking grits.

There are three types of grits in existence. The first is long cook grits and these typically take about 45 minutes to cook. The second type is short cook grits, these take about 5 minutes to cook. The last type is instant grits. I hear that instant grits are really bad and should never be eaten. With that in mind I will not even cover how to make instant grits. Also keep in mind that 5 minute grits really don’t take that long to make.

The first major step toward enlightenment would be to obtain grits.


For long cook grits, start some water boiling. The rule of thumb with grits is four times as much water to grits. Boil about 4 ½ cups of water for every cup of grits. Once the water is boiling add the cup of grits. Cook for 30 to 40 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent scorching. Serve immediately.


Boil water! Same rule of thumb applies; 4:1::water:grits. Add the grits to the boiling water, and stir. There will be foaming involved… and magically the water will disappear. Stir until thickened the amount you like, and serve!

Here is the part where I tell the story that goes with this node. See, a few weeks ago I had some people over my house. Jethro_Bodine came and brought grits. It was wonderful, we ate grits with breakfast and all were fat and happy. Having not used all of his glorious gold grits he left me about 1/4th cup; enough for me to make and eat alone. Alas, the sad part of this story is that I didn’t know how to cook grits!! I looked on E2 looking for help, and couldn’t find any. I spent about 15 minutes online looking for help, and couldn’t really find any there. The only thing I knew was that there is short cook and long cook grits. Being the brave adventurous cook I am, I asked jbo what kind they were (as they have since been eaten). The conversation when a little like this:

nocte hey. the grits you left. are they long cook or short cook?
jbo long? short?
jbo what the fuck, woman. THEY'S GRITS.

So, I was brave, stuck them in a pot with a cup of water, and about 5 minutes later the water had disappeared and they were what I think of as grits. PERFECT! Moral of the story is, just cook them. Keep an eye on them and stir them a bit, but just cook them and they's be a'ight.