ugh. so much room for so little to say. hello. /waves.
here's something i wrote long ago to "explain" who i am. it was posted on alt.teens.poetry.and.stuff. hello, lx.
depressed babble with line breaks
my name is emmanuelle,
but my mild schizophrenia
i have nothing, i have noone.
i have two feet and two
blue eyes that could shut
down any time without warning.
i have trendy messy hair of an undefined color,
a body that nearly matches the univers
al 2001 AD standards of beauty.
a computer, a keyboard and fingers
to type or drum on it.
half a brain, half a dream,
a frustrating habit of writing semi-poems
ish that lead nowhere except here,
and i am not even here.
actually i write beautiful modern
creative cerebral intricate non-girlie
but the world is not ready
so i often get spat on or ignored.
men/guys/lesbians look at me
when i step into a subway
car and like to draw invisible
sexual patterns on my body
with their sweaty big big eyes.
i had a lover and a best friend,
two in one, but by playing too much
with him, i broke the lover and lost
i drag my feet on the surface
of a small planet, located within
a restricted neat manufactured
i broke a mirror seven years ago;
next year will be luckywhee.
i am a flat balloon
because they found it funny
to tickle me with a spike.
i am not scared of death
but i'm scared to live.
i am words on a screen
and so much more
and so much less.
i run my way through life
like a blind hamster in a yellow
i am lost between languages
and words and ideas and people
and between my hair and my toes.
ich weiss nicht woher,
ich weiss nicht wohin.
i have no clue where i'm going.
i have no friends, no fun,
nothing, and i'm pretty
sure you're not even reading."
- user since
- Fri Mar 30 2001 at 10:26:48 (16.5 years ago )
- last seen
- Mon Sep 30 2002 at 21:21:46 (15 years ago )
- level / experience
- 0 (Initiate) / 0
- mission drive within everything
- to explore. invade?
- université paris 7 - jussieu. blergh.
- send me one.
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