sleep-deprived stream of thought
We live in an age where thousands upon thousands of people from all corners of the world can gather together on this internet type thing and communicate and share bits of themselves.
What is interesting about this is, the skeptic in me always feels that most of the people I encounter are, in some way or another, lying about themselves. The strange thing is, I also believe that on this site, most of you are almost a little too honest about yourselves.
Every time I log in I am blown away by someone's candor here. I am blown away by how easy some of you make it seem, to just carve out your words into space and share with us a piece of yourselves.
It also makes me wonder if sometimes I also seem too outspoken about aspects of my life. I wonder if maybe in some ways, I have also shut tight my house to the outside. I don't know which way is better. Maybe I'm not meant to know.
Writing is a rather exhaustive process for me; I throw too much of myself into it so that if you are crafty, you can see that even my fictional pieces contain a piece of myself. I don't know why it is this way with me; it just always has been. Perhaps it's because growing up, it was drilled into me to be tough and show no form of volatile emotions. Paper and pencil were my only tools to express what was going on inside my head. Perhaps that is part of the appeal of this place, and the internet in general; it is by far easier for me to jot it all down than to express it all vocally. I don't know if that is a good thing. I don't believe it is.
I don't really know where I was going with this rather haphazard train of thought.
Here are some true things:
Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be twenty-seven.
I love the ocean. It makes me ache.
I can't remember the last time I had a good night's rest.
I have always been rather clumsy, it came from growing too fast. People used to joke that my name was a farce. I have only in recent years learned to overcome this clumsiness.
I have two children whom I adore.
I have one husband, whom I love (would have to, as prospect of marriage was a terrifying one for me).
I tend to base food preferences on texture more than taste.
I am still tired.