user since
Sat Nov 3 2001 at 03:37:30 (17.1 years ago )
last seen
Mon Nov 26 2001 at 06:37:40 (17 years ago )
level / experience
0 (Initiate) / -5
mission drive within everything
Satire, wit, cynicism, sarcasm.
Texas Academy of Leadership in the Humanities
Shaving is probably a good idea. Even though it hurts most of the time.
Send private message to fabric softener

Hello. I am a boy named Stephen. I escaped the womb of a caucasian humanoid female nearly 17 years ago. I like to eat cheesecake.

Throughout my childhood I enjoyed shucking corn, sitting in anthills, and stuffing my shirt full of freshly-mown grass even though I was allergic to it. What's funny is I'm not kidding at all. I was a strange kid.

I went to an Episcopal school for 11 years. When I say that people respond with, "Oh, I could see that. You seem like someone from a private school." If I said that I was from the planet Kooba Kooba I would probably get a similar response. My cat's name is Zoe. Pardon my lack of accent marks.

I currently attend college through a dual-credit program. The university likes us so much that they give us the worst dorms on campus. We contend that they're just jealous of us, but that's only because we're elitist assholes. I use the word "we" loosely.

Everyone should read Renae's nodes. I probably spelled her "name" wrong. She's really cool though. Her name isn't really Renae but don't tell anyone. She's Japanese. Japanese people kick ass.

You might ask me, "Hey person, why is your username fabric softener? Do you like fabric softener?" If you were to actually ask me this I would say, "Yes, but don't sniff my clothes. I haven't bathed in several days."

Well, I've talked enough now. You should have the gist of me now. I'm really less interesting than I pretend to be. I didn't get enough attention as a child because I was quiet and read books with big words all day. My socks are dirty.