I've realized, not just now but a while back, that I don't enjoy most other English majors. There are really only four types:

1. The laid-back kind of people who have maybe one or two English-major friends. These people have friends of various disciplines, but many tend to be science-minded. They are the most social of the four types. They enjoy human interaction...cherish it, because they often have to isolate themselves to bury their noses in books.

2. The quiet, intelligent types who are truly thinkers. These are the English-major stereotypes. They like to read (or write). A lot. And their opinions must be sought for or read about. In social settings, they are the people-watchers. Their eyes quickly dart from person to person, while keeping an ear to the conversation. They talk slowly and deliberately, making sure no ums and likes slip into their sentences, always searching their built-in thesaurus for more accurate words. Good people, these.

3. The "specialized" snobs who only major in English to read every book in one genre. They like to refer to themselves as "buffs." They cannot be bothered with any other kind of literature other than what they came to study. They tend to allow the vocabulary of their interest to creep into their own vernacular. Sci-Fi buffs cannot grok why the post-modern British guys only snog with the 19th century British girls, who, like the characters in their preferred books are just looking to get married and settle down.

4. The pretentious, opinionated, loud English majors. They enjoy name-dropping. When listening to a conversation one often thinks that the speakers are in competition. Who's read which book, and oh, I've read that too, but have you read his essays?? They quote often and then scold the listener if the quote isn't picked up. They use the major's jargon in daily speech. They mutter about synecdoche and are eager to place their readings into their clearly divided -isms.

ugh. I'm tired. That's enough.