In the springtime everything that dies returns to bloom, or so they say in the picture books they hand out to you in grammar school. You get older and you begin to question the umbrella. How much rain upon one little life must fall. How many days will everything slowly die and how much rain must there be before bloom returns to the fields.
A person reaches many crossroads and faces many decisions. Some take you up. Some take you down. Some take you around the back where some guys take what they decide is theirs. Some take you backwards. Some take you forward. Some take you into the mists of undiscovered wonder. We all see change in our lives. Sometimes it is not enough.
How can you get more change that you deserve?
You pin yourself down on a bed where dreams unfulfilled stain a mattress with forgotten tears. You questions your value and wonder if you deserve anything more than what sits cold on your plate at dinner time. You fool yourself into believing you don't deserve much of anything. A place to sleep, a meal to eat, a warm blanket to get you through the nights... they are colder inside than the snow on the window. The frost makes it hard to see past the window.
You retreat into the darkness and into yourself.
There are those people again. Dancing and singing as they make their way down the street. Your car won't start again. The buses aren't running where you need them to go. Looks like you're walking. Another blister won't make much difference. This is the bed you made for yourself and the pie you baked from the ingredients you had.
Is this all there is to a fire?
Grab hold of something. A tree stump in the quagmire. Hold on tightly. There is a storm brewing. You'll be taken far downstream. Close your eyes. Let circumstances build your sails. Let your imagination be your navigator. Clear your thoughts. Find the tune in your heart and the drum beats in your soul.
Roll with it.
You find less change than you deserve when you undersell the need. You shortchange yourself on the journey. There go those thoughts again. You built this house. You sealed the windows and barred the door. The leaves are a sickly shade of yellow and not many are still hanging onto the tree. The branches reach up to the sky, twisted and lifeless and so easily swayed by the breeze. The roots are exposed and the sky darkens with clouds.
Darkness from light.
You can't get more change than you deserve, but you can get more change than you think you deserve. Open your heart like you are opening your wallet. Pull out a few dollars and pass them to the man on the gold and velvet carriage. He knows where you need to go. You won't see him, but he is there. He knows how to deal the correct amount of change. Just keep spending from the wallet within.
You'll get all the change you deserve.