One of the worst things that can happen to you involves being on your way to Bangor in a gifted Firebird and you take a wrong turn and end up on Gilligan's Island. Now, that is an old show that some of you nerds mights not be old enough to remember, especially with your generally small penises, but they give a lot of good advice on that island. One of the people told me of some good ways to relieve menstrual cramping. You could learn a lot being on Gilligan's Island. Unfortunately, they got off the island at some point, despite being a bunch of morons. Something to be said by that. Strong and meaningful words, right up on the screen in front of you. Feast on them. Feast! For your bellies will soon be full and bountiful.
I managed to string two coconuts together in order to create a rudimentary telephone (needs to be noded), but I had no one to hand the other coconut to. As an alternative, I took a bridge back to the mainland. There was a great deal of traffic, but I still made good time and arrived in Bangor a few hours later.
Now, I am skulking through backyards in just my thong panties and a t-shirt that says "available," looking for a family to take me in for the night.
I spied two young children with a handsome man. A hideous looking woman was looking on. I went up to the man, being sexually assertive, and asked if he wanted to do it. Looking at me and how sexy I am, he quickly agreed and we immediately began rutting on the lawn. The woman came over and started hitting me in the head with a broomstick until we stopped getting it on and I scampered off into the woods.
Found an abandoned barn a couple blocks away and went in there to sleep for the night. Goodnight, nerds.