Yeah, so today was miserable for me...

My girlfriend didn’t come home 2 nights ago. She left a message around midnight for me saying she was out at a pub drinking lots of beer because she felt stressed. I happened to be out at the gas station with my friend frank buying tobacco and I had left my cell phone in the house. I got home and saw the message and tried to call her on her mobile. It was turned off.

she didn’t come home that night... the next morning I was worried sick... I called her best friend, mother and brother. in the year we have lived together she had never done anything like this before.

At about 2 pm she called, wouldn’t say where she was but that she’d be home in 20 minutes. I feared the worst, but at least I knew she was ok.

I was right it was the worst... she had slept with another man and was breaking up with me after 2.5 years together.

I’m completely freaked out. This happened the same day I finally found a new job doing pr for opel autos, after being unemployed for 3 months.

2 days later we still haven’t really spoken. After her surprise betrayal and confession I left the house and went to my friend Frank’s house. When I came home I couldn’t face her and I went to bed and pulled the covers up over my head.

I felt like dying, I feel like dying. She went out and didn’t come back last night either. Today when she came in she looked more beautiful than ever, her hair was windswept and her cheeks rosy red from the cold.

She looked at me as if I was in her way. Then I asked her when we would talk, she said she was leaving to go to a football match with her brother. She said we could talk when she returned around 11 (in just an hour or so).

I don’t know what to do, I’m paralysed with fear, after seeing her this afternoon, and seeing the cold way she looked at me, my hope is fading...

Is it really over? Is it really time to wake up? I guess I’ll know soon.