user since
Tue Dec 26 2006 at 23:03:19 (17.5 years ago )
last seen
Wed Jan 31 2007 at 20:55:35 (17.4 years ago )
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0 (Initiate) / 0
mission drive within everything
i am he and she is me, but come together is not why we're here
uncanny luckiness
none of the above
i think i figured it out but you prolly don't want to hear it
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why am i here? who are these kids? is this my beautiful wife?

Lets see if i can get this out in one shot.

Mom (ex Christian science survivor/metaphysical covert) meets this guy, guy is into Jung, second time around he wants someone to talk to. So I get this shadow / duality idea planted right about the time I figured out what a rave was and just how many friends one could make in a night. Sober as can be, downward spiral delayed when a little blue truck met an ugly old Chevy at 45mph.

Next thing: engaged and working retail but she wasn't the one.

Tool was the second wave through this memory. I'd discovered the lack of difference between me and not me, time was more an alarm clock than a river and what I was doing was the wrong thing. That last part has gone through several iterations, I think I might be close this time. Finally someone talking about ideas that would never stay long enough to be friends. Finally 'coo coo ka choo' made perfect sense!

2 marriages later (both to the same person, neither by divorce) and 4 kids under toe, I came to a point where Jung man has been my 'step' dad for over the past decade. His visits are always the same since no one else hears him, not even mom who he lost several years ago in mind and 2 years ago in body. The man from the mountain was telling me the same story, eventually hitting the right tone: all that I am and all that I feel and all that we are is specific to me. I am not here to become one, we've already gone over that, I am here to learn about me through the eyes I can find.