You are not being fair
Our love is meant to last forever
Umlauts do make a band more metal
Agony is exactly like ecstasy

Ranch dressing is good diet food
Equality is a communist plot
Nagging is a great way to force someone to change
Orangutans are the Old Men of Sumatra

There is there there
Blowjobs are as much fun for you as for me
Elbows are the sexiest part of the body
I don't have any major character flaws

Noon is an acceptable wake-up time
Getting there is half the fun
Fapping after your mother visits isn't creepy
And size doesn't matter

I don't know why you can't understand this
Really, you just aren't being at all fair to me