Guts

Born the bastard son of a swedish "call girl" in the harsh badlands of worcester mass i came to loath the world i live in. After a tragic potty training accident that resulted in the death of a hamster i was sent of to an orphanage. There I stayed for many lonely years, longing for a family to call my own. But as fate has it no one adopted me for i had a peculiarily large index fingers that most found disturbing and revolting. Often times this horrific deformity sent fledgling would-be parents screaming and dashing off while spraying anyone near-by with projectile vomit. I decided to take my life into my own hands and ran away when i was 14. With $14 in pocket i decided i would take the conquer the Dutch with the aid of my only friend Lenny the lintball. Together Lenny and I would walk the streets at night in to raise a commuckis in any way, shape, or form that our twisted minds could think of. But that didn't last long and i finally settled with a transvestite with a lazy eye name Faun. We had 8 children who i'm proud to say still haven't attended a day of school and probably never will. The oldest Luis however used his intellect to devise a money making scheme which can't lose. We walk around busy intersections and when the time is right i lauch Luis(who is in a wheelchair) into oncoming traffic.