Sometimes I can sound really together and in order, but the truth is that I have no idea what is going on around me. I base what I do on my skewed perspective of what other people are doing while I just hope for the best. I'm a nail biter and I get obsessed over things I like. I'm in a college that's too expensive for me, and I'm probably going to fail out if I don't drop out first. The only things keeping me here are my friends and my belongings. I brought too much and the idea of moving it all now frightens me. Even if I end up not going to school here anymore, I want to be with my friends as often as I can. I'm sort of addicted to social contact now. I was a loner when I was younger, so I don't know when this happened.
I've been depressed lately because I fell in love with someone.. it seemed as though he and I would become a couple, but he is now going out with one of my best friends. She thinks I want to kill her. I don't. I am glad for them - they seem happy. But it still depresses me. It hurts to see them together. It hurts that when I'm around him, I can no longer kiss him or hug him or lean on him. I used to be able to do all of these.. but not anymore.
I'll write more in my bio if I feel like it later.