user since
Thu Nov 8 2001 at 00:45:18 (16.6 years ago )
last seen
Sun May 26 2002 at 22:27:28 (16.1 years ago )
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level / experience
0 (Initiate) / 16
mission drive within everything
The arts, not working
Abington Friends School
It's bound to be fun cause it's fun to be bound!
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Max Abernethy was born in Louisville, Kentucky in February of 1986. His biological parents, thinking he was a regurgitated hamburger that Mrs. Abernethy had eaten the night before, abandoned him in the woods. He was found several hours later by a family of horribly inbred lepers, and informally adopted. Three years went by, and young Maxwell was taught to fish, hunt, and whistle dixie. It was on his third birthday that he wandered off away from the woods, and once he saw the city, he couldn't turn back. This was a result of a condition which prevented him from moving his legs (how he got to the city in the first place is still a mystery).

After a few months of living in healthier conditions with three sewer rats and a shoelace named Harold, Max regained is mobility, and moved on. As he moved up north, he crossed paths with a travelling circus. The ringleader took Maxwell in, and gave him a part in the show as "The Amazing Furry-Headed Boy" (the ringleader was bald and found this to be a remarkable characteristic).

By age 7, Max knew it was time to move on again, and ran away from the circus. This devastated the ringleader, who expressed his great remorse by exposing himself to several nuns. Meanwhile, Max made his way up to Philladelphia where he would have many religious insights. He would discover that, in opposition to what he had been taught in years past, salami was never a part of the trinity. He attempted to start his own religion, but this ended in shame and public humiliaton when he was accused of eating three biscuits in one sitting.

Since then, Maxwell has been out of the public eye. However, he has commented that he intends to make his return with the publishing of his great novel "Reasons why you shouldn't eat staples." In the meantime, he occupies himself by building pillow forts and howling at the moon (and the next door neighbors).

Okie doke, some real info. Errrrrr...I'm a fifteen year old male. I play piano and compose music. I'm into alternative and progressive rock, but most of the music I play is jazz. I wish I had a band. I also do technical theatre work at my school, and occasionally elsewhere. For all you techies out there, never ever take a lighting board job, especially one that you're not getting paid for, as it is horribly boring. I also do lots of computer graphics, using lots of stolen computer graphics software. You can see the things I've made on my website. I think bunny rabbits are cool.

I wish I had a lobster claw
you wish you had wings
you wish you could fly away from your problems
I just want to pinch mine in the ass.